Rat

I've got a huge post in the works, in my computer notepad, so look forward to that. I will give you a sneak peek here:

"Her eyelids actually. Her eyelids were bumpy. She has like, bumpy eyelids. Like the back of a toad."

Anyway, I was chatting with a friend, and then I just went off into this weird little story. I thought it was amusing and entertaining, and I though I would share it. It doesn't really have an ending or a point at all, so prepare yourself for that.

ALSO WOAH, I JUST COPY/PASTED THE CONVERSATION, HOPING TO GET THE TEXT, AND WHEN I PASTED IT HERE, IT LOOKS REAL. THIS IS INSANELY COOL.

Though I had to remove the last names, and I had to unlink the names too, or else you would have been able to click on them and go right to our profiles.
I will have to do this more often. Except I will have to be absolutely sure they are entertaining.

Enjoy!

• Eric 
  

  
  

  I think that because I am a guy,

  I

  would like to make an annoucement

  A lot of people have been commenting on the size of my hairs

  no worries
• 

  9:40pm
  

  Elizabeth
  

  
  

  ...... hahahhaha
• 

  9:40pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  these are not single hairs, oh no

  instead, they are many hairs, thread and pressed together into a thick bundle

  or many thick bundles rather

  sometimes the rats come in the night and cut a bundle off

  the rats use them as bedding
• 

  9:41pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  hahaahhahahah

  where do they sleep?
• 

  9:41pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  I used to have 36 bundles

  now I have 34

  If you were to say to me

  where do the rats sleep?

  I would not be able to tell you, for the rats keep everything from me
• 

  9:42pm
  

  Elizabeth
  

  
  

  yes///???
• 

  9:42pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  they could be called my enemies

  They could be called my friends

  They are of course, my brothers and sisters

  for I am also a ray

  rat

  *GASP

  Yes. It may come as a shock to you that a rat could have such a deep, smooth, melodious voice, such as my own
• 

  9:44pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHA
• 

  9:44pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  My own parents were also shocked, when I recited the hymn, silent night immediately after being born

  with perfect pitch and tempo

  Though that may have been more of the fact that babies do not normally sing, then the smoothity of my voice
• 

  9:46pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  hahahahhaha and this is becasue you're a rat?
• 

  9:46pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  I am a ray

  rat

  DAMN paws cannot type correctly all the time

  when addressing my own species, you would think I could type it correctly at least once
• 

  9:47pm
  

  Elizabeth
  

  
  

  hhahahahahhahahahahahha

  this would explain so much!
• 

  9:49pm
  

  Eric
  

  
  

  yes

  my paws have a slight webbing

  It is great for parachuting

  ss ss ss

  only joking

  the only fool that would have the toe webbing to glide around would be that fool rat barlamy

  who doesn't even have a proper rat name

  His parents gave him the name of an insect

  what a foolish thing to do, don't you think?
• 

  9:51pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  yes... very much so! hahahah

  sire!!!!!!!
• 

  9:53pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  I am a rat
• 

  9:53pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  rat Sire!!!!
• 

  9:54pm
  

  Eric
  

  
  

  I am a

  rrrrrreaaaghhhgggghhhhh

  I am a

  rrrrrreaaaghhhgggghhhhh

  I am a

  CAT

  Reowrrr

  Why hello there my darling.
• 

  9:54pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  Meow
• 

  9:55pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  I am a white cat, and if you would please kiss my paw

  *holds out paw
• 

  9:56pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  *kisses paw aphrehesivly
• 

  9:57pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  *blushes

  As a cat,

  I must tell you that I am better than you

  I just want to get that out of the way straight away
• 

  9:57pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  how do you change from rat to cat?
• 

  9:58pm
  

  Eric 
  

  
  

  So that you know, and that you don't go around telling people that I am some sort of mere alley cat.

  I was a rat, this is true

  I once was the thing that I am now sworn to kill

  But as a scrounged around in the FILTH of my own living, I stumbled upon a tiny bottle.

  Being the absolute scummiest animal to be, I drank the contents of the bottle without thinking
• 

  9:59pm
  

  Elizabeth 
  

  
  

  oh i ge tlike Alice in wondelaned?
• 

  9:59pm
  

  Eric 

  
  

  And now, here I am

  No, but that is a mighty comparison

  This was a much more painful transformation than anything that girl alice ever endured.

  Everything in my body hurt. From my the bones in my feet, to the hairs on my head.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  I also cannot figure out how to go back to normal typing.

  
  

Oh here we go. I got it now. Man, I though I was stuck in that facebook chat thing forever.

She called me 'Sire' up there in that conversation. She calls me Sire more than she calls me Eric, as if I was royalty or something. I don't know why she does it, haha, but I like it, so I don't stop her. 

This is all for now. There is a large, interesting, hullabaloo coming soon.

ORANGUTAN

And so it begins.

Holy crap. I have no idea where to start.

I guess I should talk about me or something. That would be nice.

I am an 18 year old boy.
I live in the basement, I like it because it's cool in the summer. It's also really cold in the winter though, so that's meh. It's meh because it causes a moderate amount of suffering, but it is easy to bypass that suffering by wearing warm stuff or sleeping with two quilts.

Dang it, hold on.
I'm not even 100 words in and I already have to go do something else. It's not even me and my procrastination that's doing it like it normally would be! It's those darn Christmas thank-yous!

I'll be right back then. I better minimize this window, I wouldn't want anyone coming over to read this. That would be extremely embarrassing for no reason, because even though I am putting this on the internet where anyone can read it, I would not want any of my family to read it while I was present.

While I was present. While I was a gift. While I am a box wrapped in paper, with a treasure inside, I would not want them to read it.

The mail is here.

I was expecting a package, but there was no package. There is no feeling like this.

Shouldn't I be... Oh yeah, the thank-yous. Hold on.

Ok, so I am back, and I put way too much effort into those. Here is the intro for the first one I did, addressed to my grandparents:

"Hello and welcome to the 2012
Eric Pankow Christmas
thank you letter.

I would first like to thank you for just
allowing us to stay in your house.
The food was delicious and plentiful,
the bedding was warm, soft, and inviting.
When I stood outside and looked at the
beauty of nature, a single tear rolled
down my cheek, or so I though. Actually
it was just a snowflake that hit my
eye and then liquefied."

Then I proceeded to go down a list of my gifts from them, and I thanked them and made a comment about how useful the item would be to me. My favorite was,

"Thank you for the fancy dress shirt, it is a thing I will wear on my body."

How do I feel about thank-yous? I hate them. To be completely honest, the only reason I write them is because I actually have to. I'm not even sure that the people I send them to read them. I say this because I don't read them. But actually, since I am a young dude, and my grandma is a grandma, we probably have different opinions on the subject.

I could honestly continue this blog, but I don't want it to be too long. Is this an issue? Should I just write until I feel like stopping? We'll see.

Later ya poofs.